Hard Snow

The blood in the snow looked like a Cherry Icee. Blitzen lay dead, shot through the heart by a high powered marshmallow gun. None of the other reindeer claimed to have heard the shot. Typical. I took one final drag of my candy cigarette before starting to chew the gum inside.
Last night a bunch of the other elves got tooted up on Ecstasy-spiked egg nog and went tooling around the village in Santa’s sleigh. You can’t imagine the paperwork. Santa loves paperwork. Well, with a Naughty and a Nice List, are you surprised?
My name’s Pipplechip. I’m three foot tall.
And I’m a cop.

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